SHO-SHO SMITH, Sex and Relationship Coach

Modern Love in a BIPOC World

Internal Family Systems(IFS) Therapy for singles, couples, poly, queer & creatives

A Safe Space for People of Color－with Sho-Sho Smith

IFS-based sex and relationship coaching for Black, Indigenous, People of Color – BIPOC.

By an Asian-American practitioner who understands racial, ethnic, cultural & gender identities.

Men

Understand women and seduction and redefine models of masculinity, erectile performance, and porn dependence by working with a skilled sex coach. I help men of color heal racial identities and build sexual confidence through my program in Masculine Arts.

Women

I help women of color dismantle racial narratives of beauty & worth. My clients feel restored, adored & able to find their glow again when they work with an experienced IFS-based sex and relationship coach who understands their internal systems & cultural roots in my program, Lust for Life.

Couples

Reconnect, repair, & see each other with fresh eyes. As a sex therapist who’s also specially trained as in IFS therapy designed for couples, I help multiracial couples uncover their deepest needs for love, trust, sexual exploration, and expansion through my program, Chosen Ones.

Polyamorous

Solidify boundaries, foster compersion & balance partners’ needs with yours under the expert guidance of an IFS-trained coach who’s also fluent in modern sexuality. You’ll build new relational skills in polyamory/ethical non monogamy/open relationships through my program, Relationship Anarchy.

Meet Sho-Sho

Sho-Sho Smith became a professional sex and relationship coach and Internal Family Systems practitioner after her husband of twenty years died of cancer in 2016. No stranger to grief, she launched her private practice to help singles, couples, poly, queer, and creatives of the BIPOC community go from barely surviving to truly thriving. Through her ten years of client work, Sho-Sho has found that individual therapy is actually preparation for being successful in groups, with friends, family, colleagues, and most of all their intimate partner. She believes that collective and communal healing often begins with the couple unit.

Sho-Sho is also a writer and the author of CRYCATION: On the Road to Find my Beauty, Define My 50’s, and Decolonize My Life, with an M.F.A. from the University of Iowa Writers’ Workshop and a B.A. from UCLA. She was the founder of the first women’s hackerspace, Mothership Hacker Moms, and, prior to that, was a Fortune 500 corporate dropout writing for major companies in finance, tech, and retail. Surrounded by chosen family and beloved partners, Sho-Sho writes and practices in Oakland, CA with her daughters and their adorable dog, Cupid.

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Client Stories

“I came to Sho-Sho with anxiety, confusion, anger, jealousy, helplessness, and despair in relation to the intersection of my sexuality and my identity as a South Asian American man. Throughout my IFS work with her I felt blessed that I had found someone who seemed to “get it” and genuinely cared in a way that no one else I had sought help from did.

Together we shed tears of catharsis, turned courageously towards trauma, and opened doors into exciting new worlds of sexual possibility. I came away from my work with her having not only addressed the issues which I wanted to, but also in a state of sexual well-being which I never thought would have been possible.”

— Kevin P., age 36

“Sho-Sho has guided me through major life decisions and challenges, including the deeply personal journey of deciding to get top surgery. Her patience and support helped me feel fully confident in that decision, down to my core.

One of the things that sets Sho-Sho apart is how she meets me where I am. Whether it’s finding IFS strategies to work with my aphantasia or helping me understand the impact of white supremacy and the patriarchy on my struggles, she is patient, thoughtful, and attuned to my unique situation. She reminds me to celebrate my growth and wins, no matter how small they seem, and has given me the confidence to face difficult emotions and trauma head-on.”

— B.P., age 34

“Being a queer woman of Latin descent, I was struggling with heartbreak and betrayal, along with PTSD, racism, ancestral and family issues. Sho-Sho helped me see my worth, that I am worth love and patience and freedom.

She helped me create boundaries that allow me to walk through my life with safety. I loved that my emotions are welcome and held with compassion, whether it’s tears, laughter or anger. She has a deep understanding of the matters of the heart and what it means to be a woman in this world.”

— Annie A., age 43

Read more client stories