About Sho-Sho Smith
“I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.” – Audre Lorde
About Sho-Sho
Sex coach. IFS practitioner. Author.
One word: Flow. Flow is that elusive, effortless ability to roll with life’s constant change and look sexy doing it. From the outside, it looks like luck and confidence. From the inside, it feels like abundance and plenty. When my clients feel stuck ― in love, loss, sex, relationships, identity, creativity ― good things like flow seem terribly scarce. In my decade of leading singles, couples, and poly folks to successful relationships, I’ve helped turn scarcity into abundance.
In fact, I was my own first client. My book, CRYCATION: On the Road to Find My Beauty, Define My 50’s, Decolonize My Life, tells the story the hardest time in my life ― my widowhood. I had to find my flow again as a modern woman in midlife, through death and grief, single motherhood, new love, and racial awakening. My clients learn to thrive through hardship, too, turning struggle into dance.
The book that captures it all.
CRYCATION follows my journey as a fiery Asian-American widow who, after a lifetime of putting others first, bleaches her hair, becomes a sex coach, ditches the kids, and hits the road to find her true self, one tear-soaked mile at a time. It’s a love song to the California Coast, and a modern BIPOC heroine’s story.
When I turned fifty, I witnessed my girlfriends — along with 33 million other GenX women — aging just as gracelessly as me. Good aging advice was even harder to find for a BIPOC girl in a Barbie world. Midlife women of color like me who felt sidelined and invisible were hungry for a paradigm shift and a new narrative of aging that centered us.
So I wrote CRYCATION for my daughters, clients, and all of us female bodies as a real-life roadmap to self-worth. If you’ve ever felt stuck in love, identity, or midlife scarcity, this book is dedicated to you.
It’s never too late to bloom.
People often ask me for one piece of good advice on successful sex and relationships. Here it is: Get out of your head and into your body. All human connection happens in the body, and when it does, it feels like flow, effortless and natural.
I’m here to help you find your personal roadmap through the maze of life back into your body intelligence. Along the way, you’ll see the invisible systems and structures designed to interrupt your natural flow, and learn to replace them with essential connection skills like boundaries, repair, and negotiation. Good love and sex will flow from these foundational practices.
As a mental health professional who constantly self-reinvents around my own ever-shifting identities, I believe that our lives naturally operate in a state of flow — even if we temporarily lose our way.
Reviews & Endorsements
- Coaching Testimonials
- Book Reviews
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“I’ve expanded away from dating just Asians and into a full blown interracial partnership. I’m becoming confident that I’m desirable to women of all races. I won’t be minimized, I’ll dictate my own values, and become the person I want to be. Sho-Sho helped me become more confident in what I want and race became much less important.”
Akiba W., Chinese-American, age 46
“After being together for five years, my white male partner and I were in trouble. Sho-Sho helped us see that we were each at different points on a journey of racial exploration both as individuals and as also a couple. That reframe helped me be more comfortable expressing myself as a biracial woman. Now my partner and I are engaged to be married. Sho-Sho brought us back to the foundation of our relationship that we forgot about — our beautiful friendship.”
Alisa A., Biracial, age 27
“I was sobbing over my avocado toast and laughing hysterically over lavender lattes as I devoured this emotionally engaging literary experience. Smith delivers a bold wake up call to reclaim our bodies, our stories and live our most authentic lives. She smashes and examines every socially constructed box she can get her hands on…”
Madison Young, Filmmaker, Sexual Revolutionary, & Author of the memoir “Daddy“
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