A control-freak boss, a naysaying best friend, a preachy parent – our negative role models are worth their weight in gold. They teach us who we don’t want to be – as much or more than their angelic counterparts. Start watching and you’ll see that everyone around you mirrors aspects of yourself. If they all turn out to be negative role models, you have some detective work to do.
“Get rid of the naysayers, “Jeffrey J. Mayer, author of Success is a Journey: 7 Steps to Achieving Success in the Business of Life, bluntly writes. “You can’t allow yourself to be surrounded by people who aren’t supportive and enthusiastic. These people will do nothing but pull you down, sap you of your energy and enthusiasm, and force you to spend lots of time convincing them that you can do the things you dream of doing.” Sure, but if you can’t get rid of these downers, let them help you reach success. Watch what they do, then do the opposite.
One caveat: Know yourself well to know who you don’t want to be, and who you do. Without self-knowledge, you may unwittingly imitate, even if you swear up and down, “I’ll never be like my tyrannical father/passive-aggressive mother/oversharing girlfriend/critical spouse/neat-freak roommate/needy boyfriend/the materialistic Jones’ up the street.” Why? Negative models get under our skin, while positive models elude us like superstars in the sky. Even still, the negative ones, like wolves in sheeps’ clothing, can be tricky to identify. Know who’s who, and you’ll know yourself.